I flew back last night from cyprus, after being away for 2 weeks on holiday and despite air crafts statistically speaking being the safest modes of transport to date you cannot help but feel that you could be on the last ( however possibly the greatest ride of your life). However it is FACT that in terms of actual deaths by accidents in them, not in terms of the probable chance of death if an accident were to occur (lets get that straight) plane travel is safe. However no matter what the statistics say, we all know in the back of our mind STATISTICALLY speaking if this plane goes down there’ll be a hell of a mess to clean up afterwards.
We all do it, we all get on a plane especially with the 2 recent air crash tragedies and think what if this crashes, what if we never make it, what if terrorists/extremists really want to fly us into a whopping great building.
Especially when you hit those “mild turbulence” patches which feel like you’ve got half the population of the EU trying to pummel you out of the sky with huge potato guns from the ground.
All sorts of odd morbid thoughts run through your head.
Like what would your funeral be like?
Wouldnt it suck never to see my friends, girlfriend, wife, kids or family again.
Wouldnt it be better if we crashed over water not land?
Would I rather crash over england than france?
What would I do if there was a crash would I jump or would I simply, listen and adopt the brace position in the hope that the good for nothing seat belt does anything but aid the death of me?
What would I do if this plane got taken over by terrorists, be a hero? Take one with me? Sit and wimper. Ahhhhh the optionnnnss! Maybe ill just put my ipod back in close my eyes and hope for the best ( which of cause I can now only barely hear due to altitude messing with my ears).
When you land, you just cant help but think to yourself – “hek were going rather fast, what if we dont slow down and plow right into the duty free taking half of Gatwick with us.”
What makes it funny is that we all do it, quietly sitting in our seats with clammy hands and a slightly sweaty back, we all wait for the moment the captain announces, “Welcome to shitty england, the weather is well you guessed……shitty, the current time is – well lets face it who cares. Thank you for flying with We Give You No Leg Room airways, we hope you have a pleasent stay.”
Despite the captains robotic monotone voice, you cant help but feel all of a sudden more secure and happy especially at the fact that you can stand up and stretch those crushed and cramped legs and back of yours out.
Same time next year folks.
I recently went on a football tour with my football club to the lovely city of Amsterdam and contrary to what you might think, theres alot more to the city than “coffeeshops” and the red light district haha.
Well for a starters we all know “coffeeshops” in the city of Amsterdam are not really coffee shops, they sell Hash and Weed and yes it is 100% legal. There wont be sneeky policeman hiding round the corner just waiting for you to hand over your money and collect the goods! These can be taken in an assortment of un-luxurious / un-flattering ways, either by eating a hash cake, smoking a spliff or………well eating just about anything else with the drug sprinkled on top.
For the Amsterdam virgin this can be a real blast! However believe me when I say smoking or eating yourself into a coma all day is’nt quite the best way to spend your time in Amsterdam. If you reach the coma stage you’ll know what im talking about when I say “you wont be doing that again for a few months or years depending on your experience haha!”.
With the Euro becoming stronger against the pound, your unlikely to pick up any bargains in Amsterdam, infact your actually likely to be paying more for a pint than you would back home in the Great Britania. Shots and spirits unfortunately are no better! The average was € 4.50 but paid anything up to €6.50 in some bars at night. Id suggest finding somewhere that does some decent drink deals early on and watering yourself to hell there moving on, and just topping up everywhere else.
Moving onto the things you should definitely check out in Amsterdam.
1. Drink Up
With more than 1200 different pubs to crawl you’ll have more than your fill.
Start at the Heineken brewery (Stadshouderkade 78) to see how famous beer is produced. Check out Café Belgique to taste smooth Belgian brews like La Chouffe and La Trappe Dubbel.
Other standouts: In De Wildeman, Suzies Bar for you english people .
2. Night Bike it Up
One thing youll notice when you get to Amsterdam is EVERYONE is push bike NUTS! Its incredible there are even multi storey car parks for bikes. This in mind theres plenty of places to rent yourself one for a day or so.
Amsterdam is most romantic at night, when the city is aglow from lit up bridges and canals.
Start at Leidseplein and bike down Kerkstraat to the Amstel River, where you’ll find the Skinny Bridge in all its glory.
3. Club it Up
Clubbing in Amsterdam has a reputation for being very good, however only IF you can find them! Amongst all the bars and copius coffee shops it can sometimes be quite hard to come accross a club.
For pre-partying, head to Lux (Marnixstraat 403) Bitterzoet (Spuistraat 2), or Seymour Likely (Nieuwezijds Voorburgwal 250) for live DJs.
Join the dance crowd at Mazzo (Rozengracht 114), Club More (Rozengracht 133), and Paradiso (Weteringschans 6-8). For a laid-back vibe, check out Café Alto (Korte Leidsedwarsstraat 115) for local jazz acts.
4. Shop it Up
Walk the famous 9 streets (theninestreets.com), to pick up cutting edge fashion and eclectic wares.
Don’t miss Lady Day, which sells vintage and secondhand European fashion for a steal. Browse for a designer fragrance like Creed at Skins Cosmetics, investigate the Paul Frank Store , and get pampered at Spoiled, where you’ll be custom matched to a designer pair of jeans.
5. Do it Dutch
Nothing says typically Dutch better than a hunk of ‘Gouda’ stuffed in a fresh bread roll.
Savor this ritual by picking up a sandwich at Broodje van Kootje (Spui 28).
For another Dutch favorite, visit the Pannekoekenhuis, a tiny upstairs restaurant on the second floor of a narrow canal house. Dive into big pancakes, served sweet or savory.
6. CoffeeShops Not to Miss
At Café Zeezicht (Hoofdweg 456), people watch on the outdoor terrace, sipping a Dutch style latte and nibbling on the best apple tart in town. Brown cafes, named for their wooden interiors, are good for mingling with the locals.
You should pay a visit to the famous Grasshopper coffeeshop as well which has an outdoor terrace on the canal, and serves everything you can imagine a good old fashion amsterdam coffee shop should.
Cafes not to miss: De Balie, Café De Tuin (Tweede Tuindwarsstraat 13), and Café ‘t Smalle (Egelantiersgracht 12).
7. To The Market
Start at the eastern end of the Albert Cuyp street market in the ethnically diverse neighborhood De Pijp.
Peruse Dutch treats like fish, cheese, and chocolate among 300 stalls. Take a right on Ferdinand Bolstraat, then a left on Stadshouderkade.
Take a right at Spiegelgracht for a stroll in the antique district. Turn left onto Herengracht to see splendid 17th century canal houses. Make a right at Leidsestraat and go up to Singel.
Hit the Singel lunch Café (Singel 404) for homemade soups and baguette sandwiches.
8. Relish In Art
From Spui take tram 2 or 5 to Museumplein, where the Van Gogh and Rijksmuseum keep you occupied for hours.
View Van Gogh’s life through art, from the Potato Eaters up through the last two months of his life in France.
Holland’s Golden Age is the highlight of the Rijksmuseum. Don’t miss Vermeer’s Milkmaid.
9. The Red Light District
Contraversial I might hear you say! Entirely down to taste but eye opening none the less, plus always teaming with life. If your an avid fan, the going rate according to some contacts I will not name………is 50 euros.
10. The Dam Square
Pretty much the central of Amsterdam and an old square. Much of the cities life is in around the small streets leading off of it so its not to be missed! Watch out for trams and mad cyclists though!