Why is it that when you fly all you can think about are the worst possible things to think about!?

July 6, 2009    air travel comedy holiday makers holidays planes

I flew back last night from cyprus, after being away for 2 weeks on holiday and despite air crafts statistically speaking being the safest modes of transport to date you cannot help but feel that you could be on the last ( however possibly the greatest ride of your life). However it is FACT that in terms of actual deaths by accidents in them, not in terms of the probable chance of death if an accident were to occur (lets get that straight) plane travel is safe. However no matter what the statistics say, we all know in the back of our mind STATISTICALLY speaking if this plane goes down there'll be a hell of a mess to clean up afterwards.

We all do it, we all get on a plane especially with the 2 recent air crash tragedies and think what if this crashes, what if we never make it, what if terrorists/extremists really want to fly us into a whopping great building.

Especially when you hit those "mild turbulence" patches which feel like you've got half the population of the EU trying to pummel you out of the sky with huge potato guns from the ground.

All sorts of odd morbid thoughts run through your head.

Like what would your funeral be like?

Wouldnt it suck never to see my friends, girlfriend, wife, kids or family again.

Wouldnt it be better if we crashed over water not land?

Would I rather crash over england than france?

What would I do if there was a crash would I jump or would I simply, listen and adopt the brace position in the hope that the good for nothing seat belt does anything but aid the death of me?

What would I do if this plane got taken over by terrorists, be a hero? Take one with me? Sit and wimper. Ahhhhh the optionnnnss! Maybe ill just put my ipod back in close my eyes and hope for the best ( which of cause I can now only barely hear due to altitude messing with my ears).

When you land, you just cant help but think to yourself - "hek were going rather fast, what if we dont slow down and plow right into the duty free taking half of Gatwick with us."

What makes it funny is that we all do it, quietly sitting in our seats with clammy hands and a slightly sweaty back, we all wait for the moment the captain announces, "Welcome to shitty england, the weather is well you guessed......shitty, the current time is - well lets face it who cares. Thank you for flying with We Give You No Leg Room airways, we hope you have a pleasent stay."

Despite the captains robotic monotone voice, you cant help but feel all of a sudden more secure and happy especially at the fact that you can stand up and stretch those crushed and cramped legs and back of yours out.

Same time next year folks.


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